I have been 72 years of age, so I can speak from experience. You know what’s worse than 72? What Bill Belichick will be next April, 73.

At 73 — unless you’re a Jack LaLanne freak — the body is not a bottle of Chateau Lafite Rothschild that can improve with age by simply putting it down in optimal conditions. It is not good at jumping from shelf to shelf.

I’m not sure the North Carolina college football job, which Belichick has decided to take on, offers optimal conditions.

But I can tell you one thing, here and now: He will make the Tar Heels better. No matter what age he is.

There are mouth-breathers who doubt Bill’s intentions, that he’s in for the short haul. Maybe three years. Maybe by June, when his $10 million buyout shrinks to $1 million, and he takes another NFL job before even coaching a game in Chapel Hill.

But, pray tell, find me an NFL franchise that’s hiring a head coach in June.

I can’t see him half-assing this job. But, to use a Yuletide reference, he’s at UNC because there is no room for him at the NFL inn.

And he wants to work. He loves coaching, obviously more than his latest job since leaving the Patriots, football analyst — and he was exceptional at it.

If Bill walks into a crowded room, he’s more than likely to be the smartest person in it. Has he been fortunate? Of course. He probably was getting canned in New England before he lucked into Tom Brady.

But, although he won six Super Bowls with Brady — and was more than fortunate to win a few of those — I seriously doubt they win a half-dozen without Bill pulling strings.

He will do what he did in the NFL. He will bring in football players, young men he can coach. There is no dynasty that can claim fewer Hall of Fame players than the Patriots during his remarkable run.

There have been few. There won’t be a lot.

When Brady was asked what he believes will tickle Bill’s fancy the least in the halls of ivy, Tom said: “Recruiting.”

What do most kids gravitate to now? Money and names.

First of all, recruiting has changed dramatically. With the transfer portal and NIL, there isn’t nearly as much emphasis on high school recruiting, which called for more traveling and selling. Carolina will find NIL money now without going crazy over it.

Second, this is Bill Belichick. Name? Why has Deion Sanders found success at Colorado? Notre Dame? Recruits itself.

Belichick may not get every five-star recruit, but he will recruit himself without going into every kid’s home for schmoozing. His name will sell. Do you think a football child has heard about Spygate, or will they just think he’s a coach who will do anything for an edge to win?

It didn’t take long for Bill to run out on the Jets when they made him head coach. But, with totalitarian Bill Parcells running football ops, he never — despite Parcells being a good friend and mentor — was going to have full control, which Belichick soon received in New England. He’s already named the capable Michael Lombardi as his “football GM.” Belichick will run things.

I still insist Paul Brown was the greatest football coach, but there hasn’t been one who can manipulate, who can sculpt a game into his likeness, as Belichick can. He will take away what you do best.

Master. The proof is in his coaching tree. Weak branches. It’s all Bill, the trunk.

No one — probably not even Coach — knows how long he will be at Chapel Hill. But it’s hard to believe a struggling NFL team is going to bring him in as he advances in age.

He’s 72. Going on 73. The traffic signal is on yellow. …

So loud you can hear a football drop. Two more NFL stalwarts become the latest to release the football before crossing the goal line. Stupid epidemic. …

Jim Harbaugh won that game vs. Denver. With a timeout. Eight seconds before halftime. Forcing a punt. Leading to Cameron Dicker The Kicker’s free kick. Totally changed the game. …

Harbaugh plays football the entire game. Same thing with kickoff returners. When you’re down very, very late and need a touchdown, you return the kick out of the end zone. It’s your only chance to win. …

The most important thing in football, as in life, is time. …

Dan Campbell is anything but cute, but he tries to get too cute too often on the field. Cute can be caught up with by the uglies. …

But, if Campbell can get the Lions to the Super Bowl with all those injuries — 16 defenders, his starting running back and kicker on IR — well, he isn’t. …

My, Jared Goff has been brilliant most of the time, though. Throwing the ball, nobody has been better. …

The hip-drop tackle has joined pass interference as yet another penalty officials can’t call. Because they haven’t been told what it is. Still in the process of becoming a penalty. …

Jerry Jones says one of his favorite foods growing up was his mom’s succulent squirrel brains. Explains a lot. But, to make them, you need to get tiny surgical instruments from El Paso. …

There are two bad things about airports. 1. They’re airports. 2. Fog. …

Players coming to the Kansas City Chiefs are ordered to read their strange second playbook — “The Devil and Daniel Webster.” …

K.C. puts 29 people on the field — 22 players, seven officials. …

A Chiefs ballboy called for a timeout for Andy Reid Saturday and  the zebra obliged. …

Patrick Mahomes gets bad injuries that don’t take. …

Mahomes got caught yawning on the bench. Late-night commercial filming. …

Houston receiver Tank Bell gave K.C. the most trouble. So what happens? He severely damages his knee while scoring a touchdown. …

Ladd McConkey, with amazing feet, should return punts. …

We seem to be doing our best to forget we freed Europe from the horrors of World War II. I’ve been trying to see if I’ve been mistaken, but, no, Italy was not our ally (nor were we around to be friendly with the Roman Empire). …

Carson Beck can get $5-$6 million in NIL money if he transfers out of Georgia for his final year. He’s not getting NFL first-round dough. …

Guess The NFL Team That Used To Be Here wasn’t clever enough to try to sneak new stadium funding into a government spending bill. …

Elon Musk wants to drive Teslas on Mars and we can’t figure out this drone situation? Please. We know. …

Penn State was far too good for SMU, as was Notre Dame vs. Indiana, but the tournament, which will get better, gives 12 schools a chance. …

RIP, Rickey Henderson. A master baseball player and third-person orator. Only pneumonia could tag him out. …

John Seidler, Peter’s older brother, will take the bridge as captain of the good ship Padres. An inspired thing. …

The Bahamas is sending the U.S. five draft picks and six players for ambassador Herschel Walker. …

Government shutdown. Now that’s a redundancy.

Christmas? Yes, it remains Christmas. Merry Christmas.