Sez Me …

There are ways for the underdogs to win Sunday’s NFL conference championship games. And they don’t figure to come easily, perhaps not without rosary beads, holy water, novenas, gospels, bibles — let’s just say some sort of intervention, the divine kind, from higher authorities.

Coming first is the AFC title game in Kansas City, Bills vs. Chiefs. Second is the NFC title game in Philadelphia, Commanders vs. Eagles.

I think that, as an overall team, Buffalo is better than K.C. But we all know that doesn’t mean a damn thing. It means even less when it’s obvious to Martians that the officials give the calls — the most important calls — to the Chiefs. And that the Chiefs have remarkable luck.

This version of Patrick Mahomes and his kids isn’t nearly as dominant as previous ones. But they’re 15-2 (one being a meaningless giveaway). They find ways to win. Mahomes is as good as anyone we’ve ever seen at it, and when he gets help from the zebras, close games become wins. Since 2018, he’s had seven calls for roughing the passer in the playoffs.  Nobody else has more than two.

The Bills have versatile Josh Allen, a quarterback, fullback, halfback wide receiver and linebacker. And many of their wounded have returned. They should win this game. But they won’t, I fear.

I can see the Bills with a lead, giving the ball to the Chiefs with enough seconds left for Mahomes and officials to beat them. It’s the script.

Meanwhile, the NFC features the two best players in the postseason — Washington rookie QB Jaden Daniels, and Philadelphia tailback Saquon Barkley.

Daniels is a marvel and doesn’t make mistakes. In two road playoff games, he has no turnovers, has been sacked once and his side has punted once. As Philly defensive coordinator Vic Fangio says of Jayden: “He’s a young quarterback by birth certificate, not by the tape.”

Barkley feasts behind the sport’s best offensive line. When you gain around 1,500 yards on the ground before you’ve been touched, you have an O-line. I’ve never heard of anything like that. It’s stupid.

The key is in the knee of Eagles QB Jalen Hurts. He damaged it last week and will wear a brace, but his ability to run, the threat of it, opens things up for Saquon. I don’t know if there will be a designed run or RPO threat, which means Philly will be limited — maybe more limited in below-zero weather.

Not enough to lose at home, but Daniels has been remarkable, and there’s something to be said about the remarkable. …

There are 30 wide receivers making more money than Barkley. Wide receivers don’t win titles. …

Refs have called one hip-drop tackle penalty this season. The obvious one by the Chiefs last week vs. Houston of course did not become No. 2. …

The NBA is a terrible league, but even it has a flopping rule. Mahomes is the Laurence Olivier, the Hamlet of quarterbacks. …

More on flopability: Mahomes is a part owner of the Kansas City Current, a women’s soccer team. …

But not even the refs gave him a thing on that awful attempted sideline flop vs. Houston. …

Houston’s special teams left 10 points on the field. That’s how you lose when you hold the other team to around 200 yards. …

There was Red Grange, The Galloping Ghost. And now there’s Travis Kelce, The Plodding Ghost. …

I’m convinced there are times on the field in which Kelce can’t be seen by defenders. Off the field, when he’s with Taylor Swift, he’s Claude Rains, the Invisible Man. …

I’ll never understand how defensive coordinators can’t come up with a plan to stop a tight end without great speed from taking 10 steps and turning around. …

That “End Racism” sign the NFL puts at the back of end zones has really helped eradicate prejudice in this country. No wonder the Rooney Rule is a howling success. …

Now that the Commanders have done it, only one team has failed to reach the NFC Conference Championship Game since 1996. Of course. Dallas. …

Nobody knows how Ben Johnson will play out as a head coach, but the Bears, for once, had the right idea. He’s a fine offensive mind, coming from Detroit he knows the division, and it’s hard to believe he won’t help Caleb Williams. …

Now, which position will Ben play on that horrible Bears’ O-line? …

The Commanders are the only current playoff team to win on the road. …

Mark Andrews dropped the ball. But lost is the fact the two points would have tied the game. Who said Baltimore was winning in OT? …

The Lions had practice squadders playing who hadn’t taken a snap, and so they played first-exhibition-game defense. No chance they give up 41 if they didn’t have 16 players on IR. Down four DBs, they lost two more in this game. In the end, it was the NFL’s worst defense. …

And what wins championships? Yeah. …

Super Bowl champions are lucky. Detroit was the best team. How many games without defensive end Aiden Hutchinson, the best defender in the NFL prior to his injury?  …

I still can’t get over Tom Brady, in the booth as an analyst/Raiders part-owner — isn’t everyone? — being involved in the Vegas coaching search. I know just enough about what’s Kosher to realize this isn’t it. …

At 73, Pete Carroll returns and remains the NFL’s youngest head coach. …

Kirk Cousins, as expected, is a fine analyst, and I’m saying he will be a great one — if he so chooses (and he will). …

Alabama and Mississippi honored Robert E. Lee … on Martin Luther King Day. The United States of America. …

The latest over/under win total for the Dodgers is 103 ½. I was thinking more — say, 157. …

The Dodgers have stacked $1.375 billion in deferred salary money. As Nick Saban says, NIL is not sustainable. …

East Carolina punter Luke Larsen has entered the transfer portal. He’s 32. He gave me the story while we were in our geriatrician’s waiting room. …

The enlarged playoff gave Ohio State an enlarged chance it never would have had even a year ago. But the Buckeyes beat everyone ranked in the top eight, except Georgia, who they didn’t play (and themselves). …

One person didn’t vote Ichiro Suzuki into baseball’s Hall. Who was it, Douglas MacArthur? Harry Truman? …

CC Sabathia and Billy Wagner were good, but not Hall of Fame-worthy. …

The Padres still have many good players, and I long to see Fernando Tatis Jr. play healthy for more than a few at-bats. Don’t give up. …

The Pads’ City Connect unis get the kibosh after this season. The Flying Sandos Brothers want them back. …

California, a state in which voter ID supersedes federal disaster relief. Canada will treat us much better. Maybe we’ll get free Wi-Fi.